


When The Party's Over

by kittycat_beans



Category: The Last of Us
Genre: Alcohol, Angst, F/F, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-18
Updated: 2020-07-28
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:34:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25369189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kittycat_beans/pseuds/kittycat_beans
Summary: You've been friends with Abby since you two were teens. You've always had feelings for your best friend but never had the courage to tell her. With her only past interests being in men , you swallowed your feelings for her and focused on maintaining your friendship. When you two attend a party and drink too much, you find yourself waking up in Abby's bed. After sleeping together things become very awkward and you start to wonder if you got lucky or fucked up your friendship...
Relationships: Abby (The Last of Us)/Reader
Comments: 5
Kudos: 63





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Part 1 of 3

Five years.

You have known Abby for half a decade now. You never put much thought into how quickly those years had passed until you counted the days left to the date she dreaded the most. One you became used to after four years but one she refused to forget and always ended up pulling you down with her.

Four years since the death of her father.

You knew Jerry quite well but it was obvious you did not feel the pain of his gruesome murder the way your best friend did. He was a kind man and you did feel bad about him dying; more because of how his daughter had suffered than the fact that a human life was lost. He was a good doctor, useful to your community but he was not your family. Not by blood and not by how often you ended up speaking to one another. 

You cherished his attempts at getting along with you but it always felt odd being around him after a while after Owen came into the picture. Jerry got along much better with him and Abby noticed the change in Owen's behavior. They started to spend more and more time together and you started to drift apart, to refuse hanging out with them because you saw the way Owen looked at Abby and you noticed how she started to look at him in the same way.

Gross. You hated the thought of the two as a couple but when Abby mentioned it, you gave a false smile and supported her choice because you were her friend and you were in no place to feel jealous. 

It seemed obvious to you that you were growing fonder of Abby. The visceral feeling in your body at the mention of the two kissing in the aquarium had made you want to throw up. You cried yourself to sleep that night and something in your relationship shifted. You hated them together but didn't have the courage to spoil their bond, especially not after her father died and she sought comfort in Owen.

Not you.

You were certain the two had slept together that night and once again, the bile raised to your throat and was pushed down with a sob. A few weeks later it seemed official and your heart broke. It shattered in your chest as you congratulated them and it made your eyes sting as you saw Abby drift further away.

Away from your grasp.

You had tried to convey your feelings without pushing her boundaries too far. You had tried to hold her hand once only for her to pull away the moment your fingers brushed. You apologized, made up an excuse that you had been distracted but you saw the expression on her face. Disgust? You saw the distance she put between you and her on the ferry the moment Owen stepped inside. She seemed to avoid your presence after a while but things went back to normal when you joined the WLF. That normal being a somewhat stable friendship but one that would never match how close you two had been before that man showed up. Before Jerry passed.

She mourned him in silence and you did the same, having run out of words to say after three years of attending his tombstone with the others. You felt dirty but when Owen was unable to attend that year and you were the only one Abby trusted to comfort her after the memorial, you jumped at the chance without hesitation. Your selfishness bothered you in the privacy of your mind but with Abby holding you tight and allowing you the affections you had been craving all these years, you forgot about it all.

When Owen announced his relationship with Mel it was as if fireworks had lit up in your head. You felt like fate had given you another chance and you took the opportunity to attempt becoming closer with Abby again. You thought she would have refused to give him the time of day after learning he had gotten Mel pregnant but she still visited him at the aquarium despite his girlfriend not wanting her to.

You spent Christmas together in the most awkward gathering ever. The tension between Abby and Mel made you uncomfortable but the worst part was seeing Owen spending more time looking at Abby than at his own pregnant girlfriend. You started to hate him more after that night.

Months passed with minimal interaction between you and those two. You begun hanging out with Abby and Manny more, pleased to see the man had no interest in a relationship with your friend although he had the tendency to flirt with most girls. For the first time in years, your bond began to strengthen and you felt that maybe, you could try your luck.

Isaac's birthday prompted an elaborate planning of the largest party you have been to. It was kept a secret from him as best as possible, the recruits wanting to suck up to him bearing most of the load when it came to gathering decorations and food. It reminded you of your younger days of trying to get him to notice your efforts when they were overshadowed by Abby's natural talent. You realized now how little that had worked when she continued to be better than you at everything. But you couldn't find it in yourself to resent her. You liked her too much to want to see her fail at what she had worked so hard to achieve.

You were invited to the celebrations by Abby, knowing that had you not been her best friend then nobody would even consider your presence. You couldn't care less; you were going to enjoy any bit of time you got to spend with her. So you searched for the fanciest dress you could find in your closet, did your hair and found some nice heels.

To call the party busy was an understatement; you could barely find your friends. Looking through the crowd you bumped into arms and sides until you found the four of them together. Abby, Manny, Mel and of course, Owen. You grit your teeth and plastered on a mlion dollar smile, pretending that his presence wasn't bothering the shit out of you.

You greeted them and aimed for the punch, ready to forget about that man's face in the reflection of yours in the colorful alcohol. Deaf ears to most of their conversation, you felt a strong hand on your shoulder and the warm smile your friend gave you.

"You look amazing…", she sounded genuinely in awe and you noticed just how much effort you had put into your outfit compared to them. Mel wore large clothes, not having much to choose from when her stomach was huge. Manny and Owen were casual with jeans and a thin sweater. You looked at Abby and smirked into your cup, studying the tight shirt she wore under a flannel that hugged her arms in the most delucious of ways and the dark jeans tucked into boots. You licked your lips and took a sip.

Her attention on you made you feel powerful. She had become quite chatty with you after a couple of shots Manny pressured you all into downing. She allowed you to touch her arms, watched your throat move with a swallow of alcohol and placed her hand on your lower back. You leaned closer, whispering about the party and Isaac's speech about how much he loved his community. You felt her breath on your face, the smell of alcohol mixing with yours as you spoke about nonsense. She complimented you time and time again, the color on her cheeks making you forget just how much you two had to drink.

When the music blasted through the speaker you gave her bicep a tight squeeze. You fluttered your lashes at her, control lost in the few glasses you two finished. You caressed her stomach and she put her lips to your ear, the slurred suggestion making your blood boil. You bit your lip and nudged her head with yours, wrapping your hand around her wrists and pulling her away from the group, from the party.

Abby assaulted your senses as you made your way upstairs. Her warmth teasing you behind her layers and the bulging of muscles making you want to rip her clothes off. You could hardly believe this was happening. All of those years of lusting over your friend and she had invited you into her room. Your logic thrown out the window, the booze and raw physical need taking over your ability to think.

The moment the door was locked, you tugged at the front of her shirt and crashed your lips together. She moaned into the kiss, pulling at your dress to get you out of it. You touched her for all the times you had fantasized about doing so. Her broad shoulders, her muscular arms, her abs, her thighs. Everything.

A mess of clothes on the floor and two tangled bodies. Your sounds muffled against skin, the faint sound of the party going on downstairs. As soon as the night had started, the night had ended.

You woke up with a head crushing pain, the migraines from drinking too much making you shield your eyes from the light. Body felt sore too, the odd stinging on certain spots settling in your mind. It was the slow realization of what had transpired last night and the empty side on the bed that made you jolt upwards, searching the room for something you couldn't find. Alone, you were alone in that bed and judging from the missing clothes of your partner, it seemed like your morning had been like that.

On your own…

You sucked in a breath and cursed, getting into your dress. The sour taste on your tongue made you lean forwards with disgust. You palmed at your head and sat down on the bed, calming your stomach. Lungs burned with each inhale and exhale, your heart so frantic in your chest you felt about to pass out.

Abby…

You had sex with Abby…

But where was she then? 

Why had she left you all alone in her room? 

Maybe she had been called early in the morning to a meeting or maybe she felt like working-out but didn't want to wake you up. Maybe she left to get you two something to eat. Maybe, maybe, maybe…

Maybe she had come to her senses and realized what happened like you have but had a much different reaction. Disgust? You remember the feelings you felt towards Owen, that day on the ferry. Disgust. She left because what happened had been a fluke and now she was disgusted by you.

No, no, no…

You're getting ahead of yourself…

She never once told you she was only interested in guys. Crushes happened to everyone but she had only ever dated Owen so, how did you know? The reality of the world had shifted. Maybe people were more open about themselves…but who were you trying to fool? Assuming things was dangerous when it came to emotions or attraction. You had had your heart broken before because you misread a situation…but that was different…one thing is thinking a girl likes you back and having her sexuality thrown at your face and another is getting into bed with a girl that invited you in the first place…

So what had happened?

Was Abby having doubts? 

Now that the alcohol let you think more clearly, it seemed to make sense that she would be embarrassed about sleeping with you, another woman. After all, she would have rejected your advances during the party if she had absutely no interest in you. That must have been it, right? So all you needed to do was ask her if she liked you and when she confessed, you two could date!

Your optimism wouldn't cushion the blows that would come the following days. Knowing her routine meant you could try to speak to her but it also meant she knew yours so she started to avoid you. When Abby couldn't pretend nothing had happened she would keep the conversation short, make up some stupid excuse to leave and then it was rinse and repeat. After a while your sadness turned to anger and that love you felt for her was starting to falter more and more as she continued to act childish.

You did what you could to trap her into a corner but she always managed to escape. She was exhausted from taking up more work and you could tell it was a way to avoid you. So you turned to Manny and he confessed she had started acting weird after the party. You asked him why she was avoiding you but he merely theorized that seeing Owen and Mel had put her in a bad mood and she didn't want to hurt you on accident. You learned then that nobody in your group had seen you two leave…and that meant you couldn't bring up the fact you and Abby had sex and risk outing her to her very, very straight friends.

So you really were alone to handle this…

You spent a few days thinking up ideas and going back and forth between a plan. You felt like a maniac but you refused to end your friendship with Abby before you two spoke like adults. It seemed like the wisest thing to do; handle it like the two grown women you were supposed to be and if it didn't end well then at least you'd know if you could try to sort out your relationship as friends. Of course there was also the other option of her not wanting to see you ever again but you didn't want to consider that. You were hopeful that she would still want you as friend and while you knew that would put you back on square one, it was better than losing her.

You didn't bother chasing her down that week, much to her surprise. She didn't want to admit how much it hurt her seeing how hard you were trying to set things right but she was confused, confused about that night and all of the years you've spent together, about your supposed to be friendly…friendship.

Abby was slowly joining the pieces together. She was a smart woman, albeit a bit oblivious to just how many pieces existed. She had always had a feeling you weren't happy with knowing Owen had an interest in her. She had noticed your reactions, the ones you thought you were good enough to hide. She had thought you just didn't like Owen as a person but acted nice as not to spoil the bond she was trying to grow with him. It made sense to her now that you had been jealous because you felt attracted towards her.

That made her confused; the possibility that maybe she had felt interested in you seemed so foreign that she just hadn't considered it until that night where sleeping with another woman didn't made her react in the way she thought she would.

Yes, it was true that she had left you and began avoiding you but the feeling wasn't of something being wrong, it was of something she hadn't felt before, not even with Owen. Seeing you in that dress, being so confident in yourself, in the touches you gave her…Abby couldn't admit that in that moment, she had no interest in anything other than you.

The alcohol was a dangerous factor, however. Had she not had so much to drink, would she have had the courage to invite you into her room? Or was that all false bravery? She mulled it over until her head began to splinter with tension. Wondered if you had any feelings for her or if you were just lacking the physical contact of another person. The past added more pieces to the mess of a puzzle; the day at the ferry, your often lingering touches and how you had never shown interest in dating women or men.

She didn't know of your crushes on other girls as a teen. You never told her, afraid she would find you weird and wouldn't want to be your friend. Nobody knew how deep you've been in the closet until a few months back when your heart began to ache for her again. You had been pining over her for so long but with Owen having a pregnant girlfriend, you thought Abby would move on. She added it up: how you had a sudden change of attitude after Mel's baby bump started to show and how you two ended up growing close once Owen started to focus on being more at the aquarium than around her or even Mel. She had a moment of clarity when thinking about the party and how you stopped caring about making Isaac happy and had only went because she had asked you to.

She came to the realization that you've done a lot for her without ever hesitating. What seemed like a very dedicated friend to her was starting to sound like something else, something more. Your hopes that maybe she would notice you came to light and she saw the full picture. Holy shit, had you been chasing after her all these years? After almost five years?

You conjured up a plan. You would annoy the shit out of your next group during a mission to let you go alone with Abby. It wasn't easy getting them to back down but you promised to pay them back with any of the stuff you found and with any chores they were too lazy to do themselves. It worked and with your schedule for the next couple of weeks full, the hope that your plan would work strengthen your spirit.

She couldn't refuse going on a mission because then it would mean you'd be walking alone into a nest full of infected. For all the avoiding she had done, you knew she would swallow her pride to keep you from going on a suicide mission. She cared about those she knewband you would use that to your advantage.

You waited near the departing area with your gun loaded and your backpack ready. You watched her enter the room, expecting a small team of soldiers but only finding you. She froze, looking at you and behind herself. You smirked and tossed a rifle into her hands, dropping her backpack at her feet.

"You're coming with me.", your serious tone and the bars closing behind her as the man pushed a button to open the gate meant she couldn't escape.

You bared your teeth at her, an unexpected anger in your voice making her eyes widen. "No more running, Abby…", and with that, you took your first step outside, forcing her to join you. To confront you.


	2. When The Party's Over (2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You force Abby to confront you about what happened after Isaac's party but she keeps dancing around the topic. You snap and end up confessing you've had feelings for her since you two were teens. How will she react to your feelings?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part 2 of 3

"No more running, Abby…"

Those four words echoed in Abby's head, leaving goosebumps on her skin. The silence between you two as you left the stadium was crushing her soul, eating at her nerves. Not knowing what to say and not knowing what you were going to do was more terrifying than anything she had ever experienced.

You didn't speak until you two were away from the base and when you opened your mouth, all you were able to ask was 'why'. Why had you been avoiding me? Why haven't you spoken to me in weeks? Why did you leave me in your room? _Why?_ **Why?** **_Why?!_**

She looked at you confused, the one thing hovering in the air between you. The question she didn't know how to answer and the silence came back to leave you two trapped in another cycle of avoidance. It needed to be broken and after a few minutes of you anxiously pulling at the straps of your backpack and her staring at the grass and gravel, you asked her:

 _"Abby, why have you been avoiding me?",_ you had a feeling you already knew the answer but you needed to hear it from her mouth. You needed to know that she understood what happened that night and how her behavior had made your heart start to shatter.

The soldier looked at her boots, chewing on the inside of her cheeks. For a moment you believed she would refuse to answer but she did, she spoke in a quiet manner that almost made you miss her words.

"I didn't know what else to do.", a bit of shame made her avoid your gaze, scarred fingers curling into fists. Abby was becoming defensive. You knew her for far too long not to notice the sudden change in behavior. She was uncomfortable and there were only two ways of dealing with that discomfort. She would either grow frustrated and hide on her shell or she would feel stuck and would start to lash out.

She was like gunpowder and every word from your mouth could trigger an explosion. You didn't want to walk on egg-shells and let the situation prolong but you also didn't want her to feel so under pressure she would sink further into the hole she had dug. It was frustrating to both of you but you didn't have the military posture she had so, you became much more physical in the way you tried to release that feeling.

You stopped and your hand snapped forwards. It was a powerful grip on her wrist that made her jolt backwards, forced to look at you, at your face with the weight of the anger you felt, your nails into her skin to show you would reject such a poor answer.

 _"That's not good enough!",_ you bared your teeth and like daggers, the voice that whistled between them sunk into her skin. You didn't notice just how upset you sounded until she pulled her hand away and took a step backwards, looking at the marks.

Abby stared at you in shock, rubbing the lines that your nails made. "What the fuck is wrong with you? I told you! I didn't know what to do!", her raised voice made you flinch, heels into the gravel as you stood and stared back. For a second, you though you were going to cry but as you looked at her, really looked at her face and her eyes, she was the one crying.

It wasn't a full on breakdown but you haven't seen a droplet fall from her eyes since her father's death and by God, it made you feel miserable that she was like that because of you. A wave of shame washed over you, it put panic in your heart and it beat so hard against your chest you forgot to breathe. The sight of her about to break. You hated what you did.

 _"I…Abby…I'm so…",_ in a split second you turned and bolted towards the horizon. She shouted your name but your need to hide in shame only made you run faster. So you did. You ran until you felt like your lungs were about to collapse and you hid in some old garage, the metal gate slamming shut and then you were left alone in the dark to hate yourself.

Now you were the one who had run. _Ironic_.

You covered your face with your hands. The filth that clung to you made you weep. Disgusting. To make your best friend cry? How could you? All you wanted was for her to tell you she didn't hate you and her refusal to speak to you was because she did not understand her feelings towards you. Why was it so hard for her to like you the same way you liked her? Why couldn't she just say she liked you? Why did she give you vague answers that led nowhere?

_Oh my God, you were losing your fucking mind!_

You were crying in a damp garage because you were too scared to face the fact that she might not have felt anything for you. What would be left then if not for the hurt you caused? All those years spent in silence, swallowing your feelings only to throw them back up and screw up everything because you just couldn't keep trying to deny you loved your friend.

Were you expected to go back to being friends? If you could, you would turn back time to the moment you went upstairs and agreed to sleep with her. Then everything would be fine. You would still have your friend and you could just keep pretending your heart didn't beat just a little faster when you saw her. That your lips weren't forever stuck in a smile whenever she looked at you with a warmth reserved just for you. That you didn't lay awake in bed day-dreaming about making her the happiest girl in Seattle. That you didn't fantasize about sleeping next to her just to see her wake up in the morning, feeling her breath on your cheeks and kissing you good morning.

You didn't even care about the sex. You just wanted to be able to hug her and hold her hand and to smile at her and to sit next to her while she read those books you found boring. You just wanted her to want you as bad as you wanted her. So why was it so unfair? Why did you have to be without her?

You let go of everything then. In that dark garage you cried for all the years you spent acting like you didn't have a crush on Abby. Cried for all the times you thought she had feelings for you only to realize you were misreading the situation. For all the cold nights you wished you could have her arms around you but had to settle for sobbing into a cushion.

The thundering sound of banging on the garage door made you jump. You instantly reached for your handgun, glossy eyes focused on the metal. Your name being called put a sense of dread in you. No, you couldn't face her anymore. You were tired and had a massive migraine for crying for so long.

"I know you're in there. Please open.", Abby's voice sounded genuine with concern. It made your heart sting hearing her so worried about you even after you made her cry. You hugged your knees and went silent, hoping she would leave you to yourself.

The blonde set her palm over the metal, her ear to search for sound. She called your name again and begged for you to let her in. You whimpered for her to go and forget you existed. She scratched at the bottom of the metal door, trying to pry it open but you knew it was shut tight. You heard the slam.

 _"Please just leave me alone.",_ there was no point in trying to ignore her. Abby was persistent, clawing at the non-existant gap between the floor and the door until you banged on the metal and she stopped.

 _"Abby, stop…",_ you heard shuffling coming from outside and you thought she had left. For someone who told her to go, you started feeling worse. You considered opening the door just to see if she had planted herself behind, waiting for you to leave.

A sudden hard hit on the bottom made you crawl backwards. You turned on your light and saw the dent on the metal. You heard shooting and then the ominous silence. Hesitant, you took the handle and pulled the door open. Instantly you saw her boots and her fingers clutching the door, shooting it up with a flex of her arm as she crept inside. Then the slamming shut of the door and her loud panting.

When you flashed your light over her you saw the red and green clinging to her skin. The barrel of her gun still smoking from the shooting. You stood up, a switch flipped in your head as you rushed forwards to check for wounds. Abby didn't fight you off, just let you clean the gore off her face with your sleeve and watched you palm at her body, searching her for cuts or bites. Clean. Safe. You sighed in relief.

A stray runner…nothing she couldn't handle.

You smiled up at her…

_**Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck…** _

Your saw your hand on her arm and you pulled away like you had touched flame. The moment had become clear again. Too real too soon now that you were stuck inside with her. All of her avoiding before but she had chased you down. Your plan to confront her but your sudden realization you wouldn't be able to handle rejection. Two of you in the same room to address the elephant that were your emotions.

Abby took a step closer for each step you took to get away from her. With a door behind you and your back already pressed to it, there was nowhere to run and hide. She touched your cheeks, caressed at the trails of wet that had begun to fall. In another world she would have kissed you right there and you would have felt okay. In your world, you just stood there and shook until she pulled you close and you started sobbing into her shoulder, clawing at the dark fabric of her shirt. She held you in the deafening silence.

"Don't ever run away like that. I was fucking scared you got hurt. Don't ever do that again.", a soft, quiet murmur into your hair and her arms around you. It made you feel safe for the brief moment you forgot all about the pending conversation. You moved to leave her embrace but she squeezed you back. Her chest on your cheek, hands keeping you close.

"We really need to talk, don't we? That's why you got me in this mission in the first place. So, I think we should talk…", she seemed unsure and you could not blame her for it. Part of you wondered if she understood how serious things were. The other part wondered if you were even ready for this. After all those days of arguing with her in your head, you weren't sure things would be like you imagined 

You pulled away with your eyes to the floor. You took a breath, trying not to lose patience again. If you wanted her to be honest then you couldn't push her too much and you certainly couldn't cry again.

 _"What…what did that night mean to you?",_ the question was too heavy. You noticed Abby recoil and you scratched your arm, eyes glued to her boots. It took her a moment to find the right words.

"I don't know…what it meant.", Abby's answer was unsatisfatory once again. It made your mouth twitch but you sighed, trying to release some tension.

 _"You weren't there when I woke up. You started to avoid me right after. I tried to speak to you so many times but you always made up some excuse…",_ you saw her slouch in shame, rubbing at her neck. She was nervous but seemed more willing to speak than before. You guessed your calmer tone helped.

Abby stuttered a lot before forming a coherent sentence. "I was scared. I didn't know what to do or what to say. I just couldn't look at you after what happened…", her words were like an anchor on your heart. You felt it sink to your stomach. She waved her hands, her voice cracking at your frown.

"N-no, I didn't mean it like that. I m-meant it was hard to look at your face. N-not..I uh…fuck…", for someone who read so many books, Abby felt like the dumbest person in the world. She panicked at the trembling of your lips and the way you sniffed.

 _"Did you regret it that much? T-that you couldn't even give me five minutes to understand why you were treating me like trash? Was it that gross?"_ , a purse of the lips and you turned around to run your thumbs over your eyes. Don't cry. Not again.

Abby flinched, "Gross?! I never fucking said you were gross! I just didn't think clearly. I was trying to recover from a hang-over before talking to you but then I couldn't. It felt…weird…", her nervous shaking was lost on you. All you heard was 'weird' and your heart snapped. Was that good or bad? Weird could mean a lot of things but mainly bad things…

You looked back at her and barked. _"How the fuck do you think I felt then?! You take me to your room to fuck and then ghost me?! Then when I try to talk to you, you treat me like a fucking disease?!"_ , your loud tone and your defiant step forwards made her look at you with a concerned expression. You wouldn't hit her but you would grab the front of her shirt, baring your teeth at the blonde with wide, scared eyes.

 _"You felt weird?! Try feeling like shit for almost five years, be given the chance to feel normal and then the person you care about just acts like you don't exist! Weird?! I wish I felt just weird but you made me feel like I did something wrong.",_ you tugged on her shirt but she didn't budge. You weren't strong enough to make her move even an inch. You weren't strong enough not to break down either. Maybe you weren't much of anything. Weren't enough.

 _"I thought…I thought you liked me…you said so many nice things to me during the party. You looked at me like…like you wanted me…but all you did was fuck me and toss me away…", you looked up at her and let go of her shirt. "I've loved you for so long that I hoped…one day you'd love me back too…but it was wrong assuming things about you…I'm sorry. I…you hurt me but it's all my fault. I'm sorry…"_ , smoothing the wrinkles on her chest, you stood back and held your own body, shrinking into a dark corner.

Abby was frozen. At a loss for words. She stood in place, staring at your cowering form. It clicked in her brain what you said and it jump started her heart. It made her more anxious but it made her cheeks hot, her emotions clashing in a confusing, raw mess.

 _"Go back home, Abby. You won't have to see my face ever again. I'll ask for a transfer. Go work at the cleaning departament or something.",_ you hid your face in your knees again and gave up on yourself.

"Is that what you want…?", she asked.

Was she mocking you? After all you said, she had the nerve to ask you that? What the fuck?!

Your head shot up and you screamed; _"No! No, you fucking idiot! You're so fucking dense, Anderson! I want to be with you! Isn't it fucking obvious?!"_

The soldier flinched. You don't think you've ever been this mean to her before. To anyone, really. It even surprised you hearing you shout like that. You didn't know how to handle the stress anymore.

"What…what do you want me to say? I didn't know you…you felt like that. You never dated anyone but I thought you didn't like the guys because they were jerks. I didn't know you liked…me.", she still struggled to be coherent but her poor choice of words made it clear she never considered you just didn't like men.

You scratched your cheek, _"Abby. I've liked you for over four years. Soon after we met I got a crush on you but…I couldn't tell you I had feelings because you and Owen…then your father passed and it felt wrong thinking about my feelings. I guess…after a while, I just didn't think you'd understand. But then you broke up with Owen and I thought…maybe if you saw how much I cared for you, you'd finally understand."_

Abby slowly moved closer, crouching down a few inches away from you. "Why didn't you tell me? Why keep it a secret for so long?", her intentions were innocent but she still didn't understand why you had avoided telling her you loved her. You didn't think she would be so naive but, maybe she really was.

 _"I didn't know if you were interested in women. You only ever dated Owen but you let guys flirt with you so I thought…you were straight…I was scared you'd find me gross if I told you…"_ , you sighed into your knees, hugging them just a bit tighter against you.

She put a hand on your shoulder and gave you a soft squeeze. At some point during your speech she had sat down next to you. You stared at the floor, her presence, once comforting, now made you insecure.

"I would never think like that. You're not gross. I'm sorry if I made you feel like you were. I…I never considered you…I thought that you were just being nice. That it was normal for girls to be so touchy…I…I grew up around boys…I never thought…I'm sorry…", it seemed genuine. She sounded so sad. You thought she was trying to stay calm but it wasn't working.

 _"I wish I never went to that stupid party…",_ you sighed. She slipped a hand under your chin and made you look up at her. _"I'm sorry, Abby…",_ you felt the tears on your cheeks, felt her kiss them away with all the tenderness she had, as if you were made of porcelain. Her affections only made it worse and you cried harder. She stroked your cheeks and put her forehead against yours. You think she cried too but you couldn't focus on anything but your sobs.

Abby pulled away to look at you, a bittersweet smile on her face. "Will you be patient?", she asked and you frowned. You stared at her, confused. Her thumbs caressing your warm, wet skin left and she took your hands in hers. She swallowed her nerves and put your hands over her chest. Her heart.

"I don't regret what happened.. I'm only sorry I left and went silent and hurt you like this. I was so, so confused. Too scared to think that maybe, I was sober enough to know that I didn't matter that you were a woman. I was with you and when you started to flirt, t-that when I saw you in that dress, I actually thought you were attractive. That I never noticed it before…but I had the urge to kiss you…", color rushed to her cheeks and she suddenly became bashful.

You looked at her, unable to keep a giggle from escaping you. Abby stared at you, confused. You hit her arm, covering your mouth to muffle a laugh.

"W-what? What's so funny?", she croaked.

You took her face in your hands. She looked to the side. You smiled. _"Abby, I think you like girls. ",_ you said it so plain and simple that she tried to pull away with an embarrassed grunt. _"I think you've never realized that because you spent too much time with guys instead of talking to women. I thought I only liked boys because that was the norm but when I actually try to date one, it felt wrong. That's when I realized that the idea of dating girls was much more appealing. I just…never had the guts to ask any girl out. Then you came along and you messed up all my chances of ever finding any other girl hot…"_

Abby blinked at you, "H-how old were you when you realized…you know…", she looked away again. You squeezed her cheeks, resting your forehead against hers. She closed her eyes, listening to your voice.

 _"It doesn't matter how old you are. If that's who you are then you'll realize it sooner or later. What matters is you don't lie to yourself and try being someone you aren't. You can't be happy lying to yourself. It was hard for me but…I couldn't pretend to like guys just to try and fit into a group of people who would try to make me feel ashamed for just wanting to love someone who happens to be a woman too.",_ you saw the understanding of your words make Abby relax. She sighed, opening her eyes to look at you.

 _"You asked me to be patient. I know it was so I listened to you but…I'll be patient for you. While you figure your feelings out. I'll wait as long as you need until you're comfortable being yourself.",_ you saw the shine in her eyes, felt her nuzzle your palm, heard the soft crying. You pulled her close and held her.

"I can't ask that of you…", she sniffed.

You kissed her eyelids, caressing her freckled cheeks. You leaned forwards and pressed your lips to hers in a soft, brief kiss. _"Oh, Abby…I'd do anything for you…",_ you put your head on her shoulder and you two sat there in silence. In a comfortable silence.


	3. When The Party's Over (3)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just to end it on a good note!

You promised Abby you would do anything for her.

You promised to give her all the time and space she needed to find herself and you promised you would wait for her as you have been for years. She couldn't ask much more of you after that so you two agreed to spend some time apart. You didn't feel the weight of silence between you anymore after your incredibly emotional conversation in the damp garage.

All you felt now was the warmth of hope that your day would start with a knock at your door and with her ready to accept you as more than just a friend.

So you woke up each day with your heart beating in your chest, the emotions you harbored for Abby still strong and that light of hope shining brighter. You caught sight of her around the stadium but she no longer pretended you didn't exist. Though you were focused on your own devices, she smiled and waved and it made you grow even more hopeful that you two would be able to start a relationship soon.

You wanted nothing more than for that moment to come that when it did, you thought your heart would burst from all the love you had been saving up.

A knock on your door and the calling of your name by the one person you wanted to see the most. You opened your door to the warm presence of Abby in a long-sleeve and jeans. Her hand on the back of her neck and a nervously shy smile on her lovely face that made you want nothing more than to kiss the soft line of her mouth until she laughed from joy.

You offered her your hand and she let you lead her inside. She wasn't new to your apartment but this was a new experience; the being with you as a future lover and not the innocent friend during movie nights and competitive board-games with the other guys.

Abby had never truly been alone with you since you two slept together after Isaac's birthday. The feeling that there was no need for shame, the feeling that it would only bring you two closer. It was a bit odd to think she needed a slap from reality to consider her own feelings for you. Maybe she was so stuck in her own false narrative of only liking men like Owen that she never though she had always found you cute.

The party had opened her eyes to the fact she might have been with women before had they pushed her just a lil' out of her bubble like you had. She put a lot of her time into comparing the feelings she had for Owen to the way she had felt that night and she had the sudden realization that Owen was there and she couldn't have cared less. The moment she saw you in such lovely clothing that revealed just enough, it was like her eyes couldn't look at anyone else.

Attractive, if she found you attractive to the point of wanting to be with you then everything made sense in the simple way that she liked you physically. With a boost from you, she realized there was more to her attraction towards you. There was a bond you two shared unlike any other and she truly believed that you could be a couple if you started spend more time together after your raw, honest confession.

You pulled up a chair for her to sit and hopped up on the table. You smiled your forever patient smile and waited for her to speak what she expected of you.

Abby confessed the memory of your brief kiss in the garage hadn't left her mind. She explained an honest conversation she had with Manny and how he didn't hesitate to support her interest in dating you. She laughed at how nervous she was whenever she saw you because she wanted to speak to you but didn't know what to say. How she asked for advice from Manny and how he just told her to be honest and do and say the things that came from her heart.

She suggested a date, something official for you to spend time together. You agreed. You would never reject an invitation from her. She knew this but still blushed and touched your hand, thanking you for all you did for her. Your courage and your patience.

You waited for the week to end. Waited in casual but tidy clothes for her to come knock at your door. She greeted you with a tight hug and a shy kiss to your temple. You smiled, holding her hand and feeling a shake from her. She was so honestly nervous about going on a date after so long that she confessed the fear of screwing up made her almost faint on her way to your apartment. You laughed and promised there was nothing she could do that would ruin your date. You told her she didn't have to feel nervous and she said she wanted everything to be perfect. You said any moment spent with her was already perfect and you saw her cheeks glow with a deep crimson.

So lovely. She looked so, so lovely…

The urge to kiss her was unbearable. You pressed your lips to her scarred knuckles and she stared at you with wide eyes. Beautiful, you told her that she was beautiful when she blushed and she smiled at the ground, the corners of her mouth in a cute grin.

You never thought Abby would be so bashful. It reminded you of your first crush. It had been brief but you remember seeing that girl and suddenly all ability to speak disappeared. The rush of emotions that turned you into a stuttering, blushy mess. She acted like this was her first crush and in a way, it was because she had never felt like this towards a girl.

You were Abby's first gay crush and she was the first crush you had that actually returned your feelings.

Some would say it was fate…

She led you into the cafeteria. It was empty except for a familiar face. Manny gave you two a thumbs-up and disappeared behind one of the counters. Abby took you towards a more secluded table and your eyes widened when you saw the decorations. The candle-lit table, the flowers, the actual red table cloth you only heard rumors about, the chair with a vinyl playing the soft tunes of one of her classical songs.

You squeezed her hand and looked up at her, your cheeks warming with color. She gave you a smirk, the most confident she had been all evening.

 _"Abby…I knew you were a sap but…",_ you looked at the table and took a step closer. _"Be honest, did you read this on a book?",_ a soft chuckle as she pulled the chair back for you to sit, sitting in front after.

Abby scratched at her cheek, "A movie actually…", your giggle made her relax. She reached for your hand, the tips of her fingers brushing yours. You locked fingers and smiled, taking a look around the place.

Manny was wearing a dress-shirt, fumbling around the kitchen and cursing in a foreign language. Abby facepalmed and you laughed. This was the closest to a restaurant you'd ever been in but you could have done with a less sailor-mouthed waiter. Still, it was cute to see him support his friend like this.

"He's not actually going to cook, I promise.", she gave a deep laugh and slid forwards on her seat to caress the bare skin of your arm. "You look cute. Uh, that shirt is…looks good on you…", she rubbed at her cheek and you giggled again, not believing just how shy she was! It was the cutest she had ever looked; her fingers next to yours, a blush on her face, her free hand playing with the collar of her sweatshirt.

 _"You took notes, uh? On how to woo a lady?",_ her nervous nod only made you smile wider. She really went the extra mile to make your date feel special and that was proof that she liked you more than you thought. It made you feel so happy. So damn happy.

Your dinner wasn't anything special in terms of how gourmet stew was. The food was decent but you appreciated the company a lot more than the music and the meal. You appreciated the tender looks she gave you and the soft touches and how she almost choked on the hot stew when you poked at her thigh with your foot. You laughed and she coughed into a napkin, pretending her cheeks weren't a vivid red.

Hours passed of you two sharing dessert and deep conversations about your early childhoods. Manny left and soon after, the two of you stood up to take a look at the time. You asked if she had to wake up early and she gave you a nod and apologized. You hugged her arm and told her to take you back so you two could get some rest. She smiled and did so.

You both hovered near the door to your apartment, an awkward silence between you two. Abby stared at the numbers on your door and you looked down at your feet. You wondered if you should ask her to go in with you or if that would be too much. She asked you if you would like to do something like this again and you nodded. She smiled and went quiet again.

 _"You should…get some sleep…",_ you have her a brief smile and took out your keys. Before you could put them in the door, she trapped you between her body and your door, a faint blush on her freckled cheeks.

Abby's voice was quiet but she was so close you heard every word clearly. "Could I…would it be okay if…if I kissed you b-before I left?", her breath on your skin with the muted scent of fruit, her body so close to yours and her soft eyes glued to your mouth...

You couldn't take it anymore.

You took her by the front of her sweater and pressed your mouth against hers. She instantly returned the kiss, licking at your lips. You parted them to let her tongue run over yours. She pushed closer, each bit of muscle behind the fabric now pressed against you.

Abby broke the kiss, staring down at your flushed face. She caressed your cheek, caressed your lips and your chin. "Goodnight to you too…", she kissed your forehead and slipped away from your grasp.

You stood in the hallway with a dumb look on your face. Your mouth twitched with a smile and you put a hand over your heart. You turned to open the door to your apartment, the pain of years pining over your friend now replaced with relief and you cried but for the first time, you cried out of pure happiness.


End file.
